Escaping Hell
One morning in early January of 2020, I was fighting back the sadness and pain that grief can sometimes lay on you like a led blanket. It was the first anniversary of my sister, Denise's death. I realized that nearly everyone had experienced such pain. In my mind, I could see a hell-like place where organic blobs, abstract bodies, and faces crowded together in a pool of grief. All were struggling to rise above its heaviness. I sat with the distressing and frightening visual for a few moments. I imagined what a painting of this misery would look like if I used oil paints and a palette knife.
Then, I opened A Course in Miracles to my next spiritual reading. The lesson 190 reads, "I choose the joy of God instead of pain." At that moment, I realized that this artwork had two parts. I asked myself, "What would the joy of God look like?" "A beautiful sky!" I answered. I felt instant relief. I did not have to stay in an uncomfortable illusion. I could change my thoughts in an instant to a joyful place.
Later that morning, I would go to my photo library on my computer in search of a sky worthy of expressing the joy of God. But, before I searched, I was surprised at what I saw on my screen. It was a photo of blobby shapes, crowded together, appearing to move upward! Here was a photograph Denise took with her iPhone of an acrylic pour painting she made. She had shared with me her enthusiasm and joy for creating such art. Making art was our deep connection that remains a precious piece of Denise that I hold dear to my heart.
I felt Denise's spirit as I used the shapes found in her painting to create the illusion of hell and have them escape to a heavenly sky. I created layers of colors that I blended in Photoshop, stretched, and distorted the shapes to convey the emotion and depth I wanted.
The sky is a photograph I took one morning while camping with my husband and friends at Millwood Lake in Arkansas in 2015. The sky was magnificent. It filled me with joy. It's only fitting that this image ended up being the "heaven" in this diptych.
