The Freedom Box
March-May 2016
The box was my first meaningful art therapy project. The significant change is the pain reflected on the inside of the box is no longer present in me. Like the human butterfly escaping through the portal, I'm free and can transcend fear and shame to love and forgiveness.
Intention: Decorate a box with the inside representing my inner self, and the outside reflecting what I show the world. I started with a paper mache box that resembled a treasure chest, seemed fitting. There was a chain on the lid that kept it from completely falling open. That appealed to me.
Process: Browse through a stack of magazine cutting out images that "spoke to me." In art therapy speak that would mean let the unconscious mind work. After cutting out many photos, I divided them into two piles, one for the inside and one for the outside of the box. I also printed some of my photographs to use.
When it came time to paste the pictures on the box, I could not put any inside. When I tried, I felt a tightness in my chest, making it hard to breathe. Rebecca, my art therapist, directed me to work only on the outside of the box.
I painted the box a happy sunshine shade of yellow and began gluing images of flowers and gardens. I found some sheer fabric in my studio that I had saved from flower bouquets. Perfect! The gold swirls and pink patterns popped on the yellow. The outside now shows to the world a reflection of me when I'm in flow with God.
The day I cut a portal in the lid of the box, I felt such a relief. The resistance was gone, and we could breathe again. The anxiety I felt was all about closing the box on my inner child. I had just brought her out of her darkness; why would I put her back? I couldn't bear it.
I went on to decorate the inside. I pasted lyrics from this song Settle by Jordan Smith all over The Freedom Box.
Don't wanna put you aside
Couldn't leave you on a shelf
No, that wouldn't be right
I can see it in your eyes
You've forgotten how it felt to live on the other side
I invite you to listen to this heartfelt song:
To me, the song means releasing your inner child from the prison cell you placed her in. I was not going to settle. I would fight for her until there was nothing left. All the talk therapy leading up to this project was about releasing her and allowing her feelings out. She is part of me now which leaves me more carefree and joyous. (like the child running below, top-right)
The Ladder and Wings to Fly
I asked myself how does she get out of the box through the portal? A ladder. I set off to make a ladder. Then what? There was a human like butterfly in my stack of magazine cut outs from weeks ago. How did I know I would need this when I cut it out? I didn’t, but my unconscious mind did. That image inspired me to make a three dimensional butter fly and glue it to the ladder. This was my favorite surprise in the making of this box!
The last line of the song, Settle:
Looking back at this project, it was the beginning of letting the repressed child become an artist.